Laundry Soap Used, No Apology

Okay, “Laundry Soap Used, No Apology” is a pretty funny title, and I never expected to be writing it for a blog post. Honestly, this might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever written, but I need to get it out so I can think clearer and make better decisions. I’m actually pretty annoyed and mad about this simple thing.

Long story short, I live in a boarding house, and a new housemate just moved in. I said hi to him once, but they probably didn’t care much. These days, it’s pretty much “I’m me, you’re you,” and I get that. As long as they don’t bother me, I have no issues.

This new housemate seems to think anything left out in the open is communal property, no questions asked. I usually leave my laundry detergent in the laundry area. That’s normal; I’ve never had a problem with other housemates coming and going, even if they used my soap. But this kid just moved in and immediately used my soap… I was obviously confused. I wouldn’t even dare use someone else’s stuff left out, especially if I knew it wasn’t mine.

So I asked him, “Did you just do laundry and use the soap in the laundry area?” He said yes. I told him not to use it, that it was my soap. And then he just didn’t care and closed his room door. No “sorry,” no nothing. Haha…

I’m not asking for respect or anything, but bare minimum, a “sorry” or something. He didn’t seem to feel bad at all. From the next day until now, he have completely ignored me. The landlord is just like, “Whatever, that’s normal.” They don’t want to get involved at all, which is messed up… But I can’t just move out that easily. So, whatever, I’m learning to give in… I’m genuinely super annoyed. At least say sorry or something, but nope, he just seem even more entitled.

Well, it’s a lesson learned. We can’t expect anything from other people, but at least I showed my stance. The damage is already done… it’s not that expensive, but it’s quite damaging from a relationship point of view… so whatever it is, I’m learning.

Growing in community : It’s hard

Well, growing in a church community is also hard, when you, yourself have your own idea, it’s so hard that we need to go out to learn to manage our expectations and feeling. Suddenly you attracted to a member, but then they reject you. 😂

Well I think it’s better to focus just to God and worship HIM.

That’s it.

A Simple Confession : How hard I face my life and my own identity

This year, I turn 29—more than halfway through the typical workforce lifespan of 50-60 years. I grew up in a broken family. My father, once a successful inventor and businessman, faced bankruptcy due to family disputes and economic hardship. My mother passed away due to the stress caused by my father’s failed business, and I raised by my mother brother/uncle. My uncle is very strict regarding life, and it’s helpful in some degree that helps me go into professional businesses as a manager. Despite the values and lessons I received, I still struggle with my personal identity. I feel as though something is missing, leaving me unworthy in terms of family and relationships. I am grateful to have received scholarships from both my university and the government, but they only strengthened my professional skills—not my personal growth.

Whenever I attempt to build a relationship, I encounter obstacles I cannot seem to overcome. I felt unworthy, felt trapped, and I can only pray to God hope everything is fine, which my professional world is okay (not that bright, but okay), which lead to not so good income between my peers in my community as minority in some 3rd world country. In this country, minorities who do not achieve financial success or own a business often face exclusion from their community, and your identity as a minority make it harder to integrate to other than that community itself. And this applied to relationship itself. In my community, financial success is seen as a prerequisite for relationships. To be considered a worthy partner, one is expected to earn ten to a hundred times the average salary. It is difficult, but it remains my dream. I tried to, but it make me felt unworthy that I don’t have that kind of financial capability. It’s hard, and I need to keep trying…

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